User blog:MissingNo./Fanfiction Critic - The Field Trip
The Journalistic Reviewer (AKA Darwin 3288765 has challenged me to review The Field Trip by one of my personal favorite writers, Gumball2. So I promise to make this a good review! Watch out though, this might be a bit long. So, here's to Gumball2's anniversary (which was August 24). Let's hope he sees this! The Plot (and it's issues): Just for the record, there are almost no issues with the plot. But they are still there, so watch out. The story starts with Gumball's class going to Six Flags: Great Adventure. Everyone in class needs their parents to sign a bunch of permission slips and bring $500. Now, this is the first issue about this plot. How does every single classmate have $500 to spare? And, even so, why would their parents agree to such a ludicrous price? I'd expect at least for Masami to come, but I should just be happy that everyone has money to spare. Well, Gumball's mom Nicole takes one look at the price and faints (who wouldn't) and does not sign it, because only an insane person would pay $500 each for three kids so they can go to Six Flags for a day. But, as all moms do, she gives in and starts signing the permission slips at 10 P.M. But she ends up sleeping before she could finish signing them, and Gumball, Darwin and Anais are late for school. How many permission slips are in that packet? Well, the three kids join the class on a cruel, long bus ride to Jackson, New Jersey. After many mishaps (running out of gas, not being able to stay at a motel, Rocky sleeping on the ride due to fatigue), they FINALLY get to their hotel. Sadly, they're 15 minutes late and all the rooms have been booked. Jeez, how many rooms do they have? Five? Anyways, the class have an idea. They try to scare the guests by telling EVERY SINGLE GUEST that there is a serial killer loose. With about five rooms, I guess getting a message to all the guests wouldn't be that hard. When every one is gone, the class checks in to the hotel and gets everything settled. Six Flags is only 10 minutes away, and they arrive the next morning. Miss Simian drives early because it's "Extra Long Fun Day", where Six Flags opens up early and closes later than usual. But it turns out that some drunk screw-up mixed up the dates, and that Extra Long Fun Day was yesterday. So the class has to wait three and a half hours until they open! Meanwhile, the class eat at a nearby diner and it ends up to be a disaster. Some of the kids don't like what they're eating, and some of the kids can't even eat what they're given! But it gets worse. Much worse. The bus needs to be repaired, and there just happens to be a repair shop next to the diner (how convenient, right?). The repairs cost a huge sum of money, but they need the $500 each kid has to get into Six Flags. The kids have cell phones at their disposal, so Miss Simian takes all of them and sells them at a nearby pawn shop (again, very convenient) for $6000. That's a bit cruel, isn't it? They're still $500 short (since when did bus repairs cost $6500?) so Miss Simian takes Gumball's money. Wow. Selling the class's phones and taking Gumball's money so that he can't go? Gumball2, that's going a bit far. Luckily, Gumball and Darwin start a Lemonade Stand, in the assumption that they'll somehow make $500 in an hour and a half. Some random man then generously gives Gumball the $500 they need to get in, so problem solved! Once again, how convenient! It's like fate wanted the class to get in eventually. The diner, the repair shop, the pawn shop, the rich man, it's all timed too conveniently for it to seem real. Gumball2 is known for his fanfiction which were interesting, yet kept realism inside. This just seems too coincidental for realism! Back to the plot... the class finally gets into Six Flags and the students are put into groups. I really want to skip this part because it's long and somewhat uninteresting. So, I'll just cut to some interesting parts. Jamie buys Flash Passes for her group with a secret stash of money that COULD have been used for the bus repair. Thanks a lot, Jamie. If it weren't for you, the class could've kept their phones! Miss Simian also has Flash Passes bought with money she stole from the school, that jerk. Gumball and Darwin are stuck in the Kid's Zone because Anais is too scared to go on the other rides. Carrie, Tobias and Masami are cutting lines because they're too long. Rocky is being enslaved by Miss Simian and Miss Simian knocks out a staff member. With what I've seen Miss Simian done in this fanfiction so far, I'm not that surprised. The Kingda Ka breaks down, and Molly is terrified. It's until Part 7 that the plot starts to pick itself up again. Darwin makes Gumball go to Bizarro, but Gumball doesn't want to ride. He conducts a plan to betray Darwin and go to the rides he wants to ride. Gumball leads Darwin into a breaker room 50 feet underground and ditches him. What he doesn't know is that Darwin accidentally closes the steel door, locking it. Now Darwin is trapped underground with no visible way out! Then the story gets a bit boring again. Gumball returns to Penny at the Kid's Zone, but Anais is suspicious as to where he was. Gumball claims he was helping another group, but Anais remains unfazed. Back at the Kingda Ka, Molly breaks loose of her safety bar and tries to get off. I don't really see how Molly broke steel. Just because she's a dinosaur doesn't mean she's all-powerful! She still has the energy to break the other bars loose, and they all walk down the stairs next to the rails to escape. The occupants beat up the ride operator because he purposely tried to stall the ride and rip off the guests. What a jerk! They beat the guy up, thank god. Back to the breaker room! Darwin tries to blow a hole through the wall to get out by making a bomb out of the materials out of the room. What? Okay, Darwin is NOT Penny Gadget! He doesn't have any cool tools, he doesn't have an IQ of one million, so HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE MAKE A BOMB?! The story doesn't even explain how! Then he tries making a bomb out of materials in the room to explode open the steel door. He takes the bomb and places it next to the steel door. You missed a line there. Or two. Or an entire paragraph! How did he make a bomb out of what he finds in a breaker room?! It's not possible! Well, the bomb fails to blow a hole in the metal walls, and fills the room with carbon dioxide. It knocks him out, so now he's in a life-threatening situation in which no one can save him. Guess where this leads to? You'll see. Anais forces Gumball to go on the Kingda Ka to try and force the truth out of him. Gumball isn't worried because he knows that the ride is broken. But when it's repaired, he coughs up the truth almost immediately! The entire line hears of what Gumball has done, and Anais helps him get into the breaker room of the Bizarro. When Gumball arrives (with Anais and Penny), he sees smoke coming out through the door. That shouldn't be possible! Wasn't it stated in a previous scene that there was no opening for the carbon dioxide to go? If the smoke can get through, why not the carbon dioxide? Gumball protects his eyes and his mouth with a piece of wood and enters the room. Sadly, it's too late for poor Darwin. Anais and Penny arrive to find that the carbon dioxide has killed Darwin. ...Wow. I'm okay with Miss Simian's cruel behavior and the sadistic ride operator, but death? That's a bit scary. If you've read The Yearbook (also made by Gumball2) you'll see that Darwin almost died in that one, too (spoiler alert: he tries to hang himself). But here, he just dies. Gumball reminiscences about how he first met Darwin and when he grew legs and started talking while Penny tries CPR on him. In heaven, Darwin is led to his new home and turns on the TV. He sees Gumball sobbing over his lifeless body, with Penny preforming CPR. An angel entered Darwin's heaven home and told him that he can go back to Earth. Darwin's soul floats back down to Earth and his lifeless body is now active again. The trio enjoy a short moment of celebration, but run away when the police are about to arrest them. The entire class gets back into the bus and runs away from the police. This chase goes on until they pass the border of Pennsylvania. The police stop, because they believe that it's Pennsylvania's problem now. Everyone on the bus cheers, but Miss Simian tells them to shut up as they have a long way home. Notes: What can I say? If you actually read that wall of text, you'd see that I absolutely love The Field Trip. It's funny, with a serious tone in the background. However, I can't say it's earned a perfect score. The plot shows too many coincidental points, the Six Flags scene is a bit boring, and I still can't get over the fact that Darwin can build a BOMB out of materials in a breaker room. All bad stuff aside, the main point of the plot is beautifully written, the cast can get a lot of people along with a lot of characterization, and this fanfiction is overall fantastic. This is Gumball2's first fanfiction, by the way. He certainly gets a lot better the more fanfictions he makes. So, to end this review, I give you the results. Little side note, you remember that I said the person who wrote Journalistic Reviews challenged me to make this? Well, he plans to review the same fanfiction, and you better vote the best review as mines! I worked hard on this! Category:Blog posts Category:Fanfiction Critic